Author: admin

The Invisible Weight: Why Parenting Your Child Starts with Caring for Your Own Mental Health

By: Sadaf Khan, Founder of Horizon Healing Psychotherapy

If you are a parent, you are likely familiar with the “Invisible Weight.” It isn’t a physical load, but it feels just as heavy. It is the mental load of remembering school Spirit Days, the emotional labor of soothing a middle-of-the-night nightmare, and the constant, underlying hum of worry: “Am I doing enough? Am I doing this right?”

At Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, we often see parents who come to us seeking help for their children. They are desperate to help their little ones navigate anxiety, behavioral issues, or big emotions. But one of the most profound truths of family therapy is this: The most powerful tool you have to help your child is a healthy, regulated version of yourself.

The Science of Co-Regulation: You are the Thermostat

Many parents view themselves as “mirrors” to their children, reflecting back their needs and emotions. However, in the world of psychotherapy, we view parents more like thermostats.

A child’s nervous system is still under construction. They do not yet have the biological ability to “calm themselves down” from a state of high distress. Instead, they rely on co-regulation. They “borrow” your calm to stabilize their own internal storm.

If your “thermostat” is set to high-stress, burnout, or exhaustion, it is nearly impossible to help your child cool down. When a parent is operating from a place of chronic stress, their Window of Tolerance narrows.

When you are outside your Window of Tolerance perhaps feeling hyper-aroused (anxious/angry) or hypo-aroused (numb/withdrawn) you cannot effectively co-regulate your child. Caring for your mental health isn’t a luxury; it is the act of keeping your thermostat functional so your home stays at a temperature where everyone can thrive.

The Myth of the Parental Martyr

Society often tells us that “good” parents are those who give until they have nothing left. We are taught that self-sacrifice is the ultimate sign of love. But in the therapy room, we see the aftermath of this “martyrdom”: burnout, resentment, and a disconnect between parent and child.

When we ignore our own mental health, the Invisible Weight begins to leak out in ways we don’t intend. It looks like:

• Snapping at a child for a minor mistake because our “fuse” is already burnt to the end.
• Feeling “touched out” and unable to offer the physical affection our child craves.
• A persistent sense of “autopilot,” where we are physically present but emotionally a thousand miles away.

Self-care is not “me-first”; it is “me-too.” It is acknowledging that your needs for rest, boundaries, and emotional support are just as valid as your child’s.

Breaking Generational Cycles

For many of us, the way we parent is a reaction to the way we were parented. We may be trying to give our children the emotional safety we never had. However, “white-knuckling” your way through parenting trying to be “better” through sheer willpower is exhausting.

By entering therapy or prioritizing your mental wellness, you are doing the hard work of generational healing. You are looking at the patterns of anxiety, anger, or silence that may have been passed down to you and saying, “It stops with me.”

When your child sees you setting boundaries, asking for help, or taking a moment to breathe when you’re frustrated, you are teaching them more about mental health than any book ever could. You are modeling that human beings have limits, and that seeking support is a sign of strength, not failure.

What “Caring for Yourself” Actually Looks Like

At Horizon Healing, we want to redefine self-care for parents. It’s rarely about a weekend at the spa (though that’s lovely!). Real, sustainable mental health support for parents looks like:

• Setting Boundaries: Learning to say “no” to extra commitments so you have “yes” left for your family and yourself.
• Emotional Honesty: Acknowledging to yourself (and perhaps a partner or therapist) when you are struggling, rather than burying it.
• Self-Compassion: Replacing the “inner critic” that tells you you’re failing with the voice of a friend who knows you’re doing your best in a hard job.
• Professional Support: Having a safe, private space like therapy to process your own fears, traumas, and frustrations so you don’t have to carry them into your interactions with your child.

Putting on Your Oxygen Mask

The old cliché of the airplane oxygen mask exists because it is fundamentally true: You cannot pour from an empty cup. If you want your child to be resilient, you must nurture your own resilience. If you want your child to be kind to themselves, you must practice self-kindness. Your mental health is the foundation upon which your child’s well-being is built.

At Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, we are here to support the whole family. Whether you are navigating the “invisible weight” of new parenthood, the complexities of the teenage years, or your own personal healing journey, you don’t have to do it alone.

Take the First Step Toward a Lighter Load

You deserve a space where you are the one being listened to. I invite you to reach out for a free 20-minute consultation. Let’s discuss how we can help you find focus, peace, and the strength to be the parent you truly want to be.

Your healing is their healing.

Visit www.horizonhealingpsychotherapy.ca to book your session today.

More Than Just Play: How Therapy Gives Your Child the Language for Big Feelings

By: Sadaf Khan, Founder of Horizon Healing Psychotherapy

As parents, we often wish our children came with a manual or at the very least, a translator. We watch our little ones navigate a world that is vast, loud, and often confusing. We see the sudden outbursts over a “wrong” colored cup, the quiet withdrawal after a day at school, or the restless nights filled with unspoken worries.

When a child is struggling, the most common advice is to “talk to them.” But for a child, sitting across from an adult to discuss their “anxiety” or “frustration” can feel impossible. They don’t yet have the neurological hardware to process complex emotions through verbal logic.

This is where the power of therapy comes in. At Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, we often hear the question: “Is it just play?” The answer is both simple and profound: Play is the child’s language, and toys are their words.

The Biological “Why”: Understanding the Developing Brain

To understand why play is so vital in therapy, we have to look at how a child’s brain develops. The prefrontal cortex the part of the brain responsible for logic, reasoning, and complex language isn’t fully developed until a person is in their mid-twenties.

When a child experiences “Big Feelings” whether it’s grief, fear from a life transition, or the pressure of social dynamics they experience it in the emotional and sensory parts of their brain. They feel it in their racing hearts, their tight tummies, and their clenched fists. Because they lack the verbal vocabulary to say, “I feel overwhelmed by the transition to a new school,” that feeling is translated into behavior: a tantrum, defiance, or bed-wetting.

Therapy provides a bridge. By using play-based and expressive techniques, we meet the child where they are developmentally, rather than forcing them into an adult’s world of “talk therapy.”

Play as a Symbolic Language

In the safe, contained environment of a therapy room, a dollhouse isn’t just a toy; it’s a stage where a child can act out family dynamics. A bin of sand and miniature figures isn’t just a game; it’s a landscape where a child can bury their fears or build a fortress of safety.

When a child plays, they are engaging in symbolic communication. They can project their internal struggles onto a character. For example, a child who is experiencing bullying might play out a scene where a “brave lion” stands up to a “scary monster.” Through this play, the child:

1. Gains a sense of control: In the real world, they may feel powerless. In play, they are the director.
2. Processes trauma safely: By placing the “scary” feeling on a toy, they create a healthy distance from the emotion, making it less overwhelming to process.
3. Tests solutions: They can try out different endings to a story, helping them build problem-solving skills they can eventually use in real life.

Building the “Emotional Vocabulary”

While the play happens, the role of the therapist at Horizon Healing is to act as the “Emotional Translator.”

As a Registered Therapist (Qualifying), my role is to observe these patterns and gently reflect them back to the child. If a child is aggressively crashing toy cars together, I might say, “Those cars look very frustrated. They have so much energy and they don’t know where to put it.”

This simple act does something revolutionary for a child: it labels the feeling. Over time, the child begins to connect the physical sensation of “hot” anger or “heavy” sadness with a name. By giving them the language for their big feelings, we move the emotion from a scary, chaotic physical experience to a manageable, named concept. Once a feeling has a name, it loses its power to overwhelm.

The Goal: Resilience, Not Just Relief

The objective of child therapy isn’t just to stop a specific behavior; it’s to build a foundation of emotional intelligence that will serve them for the rest of their lives.

When a child learns through therapy that it is okay to feel angry, that sadness can be shared, and that they have the tools to calm their own nervous system, they become resilient. They learn that they don’t have to navigate their “internal horizon” alone.

A Partnership with Parents

At Horizon Healing, we believe that the most successful therapy involves the “village.” You, the parent, are the most important person in your child’s world. While the child is in the room building their vocabulary, we work with you to understand the “why” behind the behaviors.

When you understand that your child’s “defiance” is actually a “big fear” in disguise, your response shifts from frustration to connection. This connection is the ultimate environment for healing.

When to Seek Support

It can be difficult to know when “kids being kids” crosses over into a need for professional support. We often suggest therapy if you notice:

• Persistent changes in sleep or eating habits.
• Regression (e.g., a potty-trained child having frequent accidents).
• Excessive “clinginess” or separation anxiety.
• Physical complaints (stomachaches/headaches) with no medical cause.
• Uncontrollable outbursts that seem out of proportion to the situation.

Finding the Path Forward

Healing is a journey that doesn’t have to be navigated in silence. If your child is struggling with big feelings, or if you are feeling overwhelmed as a parent, know that there is a safe space waiting for you.

At Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, we are dedicated to helping families find focus, peace, and stronger connections. We offer a free 20-minute consultation to discuss your child’s needs and how we can help them find their voice through play, through language, and through heart.

Let’s help your child find the words they need to heal.

Visit www.horizonhealingpsychotherapy.ca to book your session today.

Child Therapy: Helping Children Build Resilience and Reduce Challenging Behaviours

Some days, parenting feels full of joy, small laughs, hugs, and connection. And other days, it’s tears, frustration, or emotional storms that appear from nowhere.

If your child is having a hard time coping with emotions, it doesn’t mean they’re “misbehaving.” It means they’re trying to communicate something they don’t yet have the words for.

The heart of child therapy is helping children understand their feelings and giving them the tools to express themselves in healthier ways, while supporting parents as well along the way.

If you’ve ever wondered:

– “Why is my child reacting like this?”

– “How do I help them calm down?”

– “What am I doing wrong?”

You are not alone. Many families experience these same concerns. And there is support.

Why Children Show Challenging Behaviours

Challenging behaviours aren’t about being “disobedient”, they’re emotional messages. Children express through behaviour what they may not yet have the words for.

Children may act out when they are navigating:

– Overwhelming feelings (anger, sadness, anxiety, frustration)

– Stress at home or school

– Low self-esteem or fear of making mistakes

– Changes in routine or environment

– Not having tools to calm themselves yet

When kids don’t know how to cope, behaviours become their communication.

How Child Therapy Builds Resilience

Resilience is the ability to cope with stress, adapt to challenges, and recover from emotional upsets. Therapy helps children build this inner strength through emotional learning and positive support.

1. Understanding and Naming Emotions

Your child learns to recognize and express feelings safely instead of through anger or shutdown.

2. Learning Calm-Down Tools

Through activities like storytelling, games, mindfulness, and play techniques, your child learns how to cope when feelings become overwhelming.

3. Growing Problem-Solving Confidence

Therapy helps children shift from “I can’t” to “I can try.”

4. Strengthening Communication and Relationships

Parents are included to support consistency at home and build stronger communication patterns.

5. Building Self-Esteem

Children thrive when they feel understood, supported, and valued.

A Collaborative Approach with Parents

Parents play an essential role in their child’s emotional development. We work alongside parents with guidance that supports a calm, connected home environment, so the skills learned in therapy continue to grow every day.

About Horizon Healing Psychotherapy

Led by Sadaf Khan, Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying), Horizon Healing offers compassionate, evidence-based child therapy for families across Canada through secure virtual sessions.

Your Child Deserves Support and So Do You

Challenging behaviours are not “the problem”, they are signals. With the right support, children learn to understand themselves and move through emotions with confidence and resilience.

We offer virtual child therapy sessions to families across Canada (Ages 10 and above).

No travel. No geographical limitations.

Just warm, professional support right at home.

Begin your child’s journey today:

https://horizonhealingpsychotherapy.ca

How to Know If Your Child Needs Therapy: Early Signs Every Parent Should Watch

Parenting is incredibly rewarding, but it can also feel overwhelming, especially when you’re unsure how to support your child’s emotional needs.

When children begin to withdraw, express strong emotions, or behave differently, parents often wonder:

“Is this just a phase, or does my child need help?”

Recognizing early signs can make a life-changing difference. Emotional support in childhood builds resilience, confidence, and lifelong coping skills.

At Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, we offer virtual child and teen therapy across Canada, providing compassionate and professional support wherever your family is.

When Should You Consider Therapy for Your Child?

It’s normal for children to experience worry, frustration, or sadness, but when these feelings begin affecting daily life, relationships, or school performance, therapy may be helpful.

Therapy is not only for “big problems.”

It’s a proactive, healthy way to help children:

– Understand their emotions

– Learn coping strategies

– Communicate more clearly

– Build emotional confidence

Early Signs Your Child May Need Therapy

• Frequent Emotional Outbursts
• Withdrawal from Family or Friends
• Changes in Sleep or Eating
• Decline in School Performance
• Constant Worry or Fear
• Aggression or Defiance
• Regression in Behaviours
• Low Self-Esteem or Negative Self-Talk

How Therapy Supports Children’s Emotional Growth

During child counselling sessions, children learn how to:

– Name and express emotions safely

– Understand what triggers their feelings

– Build self-awareness and confidence

– Develop problem-solving and calming strategies

– Strengthen communication with family and peers

We use child-friendly approaches such as play therapy, art therapy, storytelling, and supportive conversation that help children open up comfortably.

Your Role as a Parent Matters

Therapy works best when parents and therapists work together.

You can support your child by:

– Listening without judgment

– Encouraging open conversations

– Validating feelings (not dismissing them)

– Modelling calm coping behaviours

– Maintaining routines and emotional safety at home

Seeking help shows strength and awareness in parents, not failure.

“Raising a resilient child begins with acknowledging your own emotional support and asking for help when you need.”

About the Therapist: Sadaf Khan

Founder of Horizon Healing Psychotherapy, Sadaf Khan is a Registered Psychotherapist (Qualifying) with a compassionate, culturally aware approach. With a background in psychology, public health, and medicine, she supports children, teens, and families in building emotional resilience and healthier communication patterns.

Start Your Child’s Wellness Journey

We provide secure online child therapy sessions for families across Canada.

Book a Child Therapy Consultation:

https://horizonhealingpsychotherapy.ca/